When you have a noisy being causing you to become deaf, don't try to be louder to shush it...

You heard me.  When you have a noisy kitten mewling at the top of her lungs, you don't have to yowl, "SHUT UP!"  That would be like trying to put out a flaming bush by compressing it with a flaming tree.  Not going to work.  Most likely, that will result in a forest fire, which could have been avoided if you had just put out the bush with cold water or snow.  In other words, give that kitten a cold shoulder!  Well, okay, if you  are dealing with an emotionally fragile kitten, a cold shoulder would be a little harsh.  Just ignore her instead.  Eventually, she will get a sore throat and be forced to stop or will get yelled at by someone who has authority over her, such as her mother, father, or owner.

So, what have we learned?  If you said something along the lines of, "Give the noisy being next to you the silent treatment until they shut up," you are correct.  If you said something along the lines of, "Pay attention to the poor adorable angel who is yearning for your attention so that she will not cry out for your attention," I have two things to say to you.  1- Read the post again, for you seem to have gained the OPPOSITE advice from it, and 2- you are redundant and need to go talk to your English teacher about proper grammar.  Oh, and 3- if you follow your terribly misguided advice, you will find that you are just spoiling the young organism and they will keep annoying you because you react to them and therefore show signs of an entertaining playmate, which is probably the worst possible thing that could happen if you are like me.

Yes, all you parents out there, this might be a little harsh for A CERTAIN FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD, but if you were in my shoes and had the same thought patterns as I do, you would certainly follow this advice.  Thank you for listening and hopefully paying attention.  Now go read a good book and work on your redundant-ness!

Don't play pranks unless you don't want to be believed...

Don't play pranks unless you don't want to be believed, because when you play pranks and tell people false things, well, if you've the boy who cried wolf story, you know what happens. No one will believe you when you tell the truth.

In a cat's words, when you say the mice are out and being dumb and are easy to catch, and all the neighborhood cats go looking for these mice to find that there aren't any, they won't be happy. And, when the mice actually are being dumb and easy to catch, no one will believe you. It will also happen with the birds, rabbits, and other yummy animals you may come across. Right now, you may be thinking, "Well, I get all of those tasty little morsels." In reality, you don't get them, because when all the neighborhood cats are hungry in the middle of winter and you have a large stock of mice, rabbits, birds, etc., your house becomes the local food pantry for everyone. They still won't believe you; they will just think you're a spoiled brat because your owner buys you all of those animals on a golden platter.

So, you should now be convinced that you should not play pranks like this, or any other potentially hurtful pranks. And, in closing, remember to never let someone else control you, because it's your life, and no one should cramp your style!

Don't be someone you aren't...

Don't be someone you aren't, because then you wouldn't exist. If you get stripped of who you are, what you are made of, the essence of your being, you become nothing, be cause you are not you any longer.
So, imagine that you are a cat, completely unique, and someone pulls off your fur, then wipes that twinkle out of your eye, or the snarl off your face (please don't snarl), then gets rid of your lean body and long, thin tail. You would be nothing, because you are not you.
Who we are (personality, strength, favorites, etc.) is the one thing that makes us, well, us. Without that, we would not be in existence anymore, because we wouldn't be us. We would be modeled after a completely different person.
Back to the cat picture. So that mean person takes the nothingness that is you, and gives you the features, IQ, attitude, and personality of a completely different cat. Long, fluffy fur, fat and slow, sticky sweet expressions. Now, are you really you anymore? No! You are a completely different cat. And the old you? Gone, extinct, ZAP! No more twinkling eyes, lean, agile body, rough and tumble personality.
So, what we have learned is that you should never be someone else because you would not exist anymore.

Remember, your life is your own, and no one should be crushing your dreams (or awesome shower voice), so speak up! I will be happy to help.

If you aren't getting what you want, don't start begging...

If you aren't getting what you want, don't beg, just wait and see if the person changes their mind the next day, and if not, you are probably out of luck. But if you want to keep hoping, you can check back the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day... Okay, maybe not so much. But my point is, don't beg.

If you are not satisfied with your food, don't go and beg for the people food, just suck it up, and try to enjoy it. Remember, you could be stray, starving and sick. Be thankful for what you have. And who knows? Maybe your people decide to reward your honorable self-control and buy better food!

This situation is not limited to just cat food, it covers a wide range of things where begging seems the easiest thing to do. It might seem like it will change their mind (or make them give it to you to make you shut up), but you will most likely be put off the table and yelled at.

Remember, you should rule your own life, but not completely. Good rule of thumb: If you are being worked like a slave, you should speak up. If you are doing chores, pipe down. Hopefully this helped you in some way. I will get back to napping and grooming now. If any of you need help, don't hesitate to ask the cat.

When someone swats your tail, stop twitching it...

If someone is antagonizing you, or being mean to you, or picking a fight with you, stop giving them something to cause trouble with. Think of it this way: if you are a cat, enjoying your day, and this kitten comes along and starts attacking your tail, you are probably twitching it/moving it in some way, shape, or form. So stop giving that kitten something interesting to cause trouble with!

If you don't know why the person is doing this, try to ask them why they are causing trouble, and either fix it if you want to do that and let others control your life, or tell them to accept you as you are and STOP!

I hope this little tidbit has helped you in some way. If you are having a specific problem, go ahead and leave me a comment on what it is, and I will try to help. Remember, this is a strict positive-only blog, so if you have nothing good to say, don't say it. Helpful criticism only, please (so to make that less confuzzling, you can criticize only if it is nice(i love your help, but maybe you could say more about the problem vs. your help needs to say more about the problem, 'cuz I don't understand what you are reffering to at all).)

Your life is your life, so don't let others get in the way of your personal way of living!

When someone greets you, greet them back...

Hello readers! This a new blog of mine, where i post advice on life, from a cats point of view. I hope everyone finds this interesting. I am still working on the set up for this new addition, so if you visit often, you may see a different font, or background, or color scheme each time. If you are interested in how this works, i will have life advice in cat form as the title of each post, then i will explain what i mean in the actual post. If you desire regular information, visit my other blog, Butter Beer and Other Good Things. Please comment, pay attention, and above all, enjoy!